Archives for : opinion

Square-Enix Realizes People Like Their RPGs, Internet says “No Shit!”

I always knew Square-Enix was full of dumbasses but I never realized how bad it was…until now. via Siliconera

Und you vill like it!

Und you vill like it!

“Not just limited to games for smartphone or console, but we do have some global titles lined up,” Matsuda replied. “However, regardless of whether they’re for smartphone or console, there’s a difficult element to developing global titles, so we’ll be making them without focusing too much on the ‘global’ aspect.”


“For example, in the past, when we developed console games with a worldwide premise, we lost our focus, and not only did they end up being games that weren’t for the Japanese, but they ended up being incomplete titles that weren’t even fit for a global audience.”


Matsuda continues, “On the other hand, there are games like the JRPG we made for the Japanese audience with the proper elements, Bravely Default, which ended up selling well all around the world.”

The Square-Enix Brain Trust

The Square-Enix Brain Trust

How do these people keep their fucking jobs? I never cease to be amazed how these companies carry on without a clue of what their customers want or keep doing what they are famous for.

2K Will Never Learn… 2 Hour Bioshock Infinite DLC for $15

2k logo2k all day

bioshock infinite 02Remember how we were nickeled and dimed for Borderlands 2 DLC? You know actually charging for a level cap increase and so on. Well our “friends” at 2K are at it again! Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea, the story DLC that takes Booker and Elizabeth to Rapture, hits tomorrow on PSN, Live and PC for the bargain price of $14.99. Now that price is not unheard of for DLC, I know. However, reviews are starting to hit and it is said that the DLC lasts all of two hours. IF you plumb every fucking depth of the extras and fetch quests you might hit three hours. Maybe. I mean just wow. Even greedy-ass Gearbox only charged $3 for their short Headhunter packs.

bioshock infinite 01

You want how much???

When Borderlands 1 hit, I thought the DLC was done right. Four $10 expansions, three of them pretty enjoyable. Bioshock didn’t dwell on DLC and Bioshock 2 had Minerva’s Den of only $10 also pretty enjoyable. And people bought the hell out of them. Why? Because they were quality and the price was right. What did 2K learn from all this? Absolutely nothing. Borderlands has tons of DLC most of it crap, with all kinds of character add-ons like heads and clothes. This stuff used to be free and unlockable. Bioshock Infinite has had less DLC but damn is it high. Instead of thinking the sales were good due to good value, they thought “Those fools will buy anything! Whoo-hoo!”

robberzThis past generation there have been a lot of dumb things done with DLC, especially when it is done simply to fleece the consumer. But this takes the cake. Ken Levine even tried to justify this crap over at Eurogamer with a “Quality over Quantity” rap. Why can’t we have both Ken? WHY? Because Ken wants a new Lexus or something I guess. I wonder if the executives at 2K wear masks, because where I come from robbers always wear masks…

It’s Official…Next Gen Sucks: A Darker Image Editorial

As of this writing the next age of gaming begins on November 15th for Playstation fans and November 22nd for Xbox fans (And before you ask, Wii U does not count) and all ready it seems like the wheels are coming off. Scandals abound for both systems and no matter which way you go you are losing something you were likely looking forward to.


Let’s start with the PS4. Driveclub, the premier racing game for the system was suddenly delayed only a month before launch. Normally this would not be that big of a deal but Sony has been pushing this game as the second coming of racing and they even went so far as to promise it as a free Playstation Plus game day 1, Can you say embarrassing? How could they be that close to launch and not know before it was not going to make it? This whole thing just smacks of incompetence, and I love Sony!

And a couple of days ago my personal deal breaker came along. The PS4 will NOT support suspend/resume at launch. Knowing Sony that could mean never. We all know how they love to strip out features as the systems age, what is to say that they ever go back and add it. Feels shady to me. REAL shady. Not to mention there is a day 1 patch just so the damn thing will do what it’s supposed to. Didn’t we crucify Microsoft for this just a while back?

spybox one

Speaking of Xbox One, things continue to look bad over Microsofts way. After telling us they would spy on us and keep you from actually using your system and games how they should be at E3 they backed off and said they would be nice. Now Microsoft would NEVER lie or mislead consumers, right? RIGHT??? In addition to being $100 higher than PS4 in the worst economy ever the SpyBox One is having trouble hitting 1080p on several big games. What games you ask? Only Call of Duty: Ghosts and Battlefield 4, you know the big sellers for any system. It’s also said that Microsoft’s own Killer Instinct is only 720p! Man I can’t wait to upgrade! Oh wait, could it be considered an upgrade if games run at the same resolution as the 360? Sigh.

Oh and looking forward to Forza 5? Hope you have good, uncapped internet as the game is only partially on the disc, you have to download the rest day 1. Yay technology? But at least they will not be any DLC on the disc. What about the power of the magical clouds? If you believe that nonsense, Ouya has unicorn power. For reals.

blast processing

The original Sonic the Hedgehog on Sega Genesis claimed to have a “blast processor” to make it better than Nintendo. Well it didn’t and it wasn’t. The cloud is todays blast processing, just you wait and see.

And the systems themselves are not the only ones having problems. Ubisoft at the last minute delayed Watch_Dogs, another case of how did you not know this before? Bundels were sold of PS4 with the game and much confusion and screwed up orders ensued. Watch_Dogs must REALLY be fucked up as Ubisoft are some greedy dudes. They’ll ship anything. That does make you wonder what games will be rushed out garbage (With day 1 patches! Hell yeah!).

All this nonsense has done is make me leery of jumping. I will head out on the 15th and if I can find a PS4 whenever I get up I’ll get one but I’m not chasing it, at least until Infamous Second Son if it doesn’t get delayed…

Oy Ouya! Or WTF Are These People Thinking?

ouya box

What they say: Video games just feel bigger and better on a TV screen. Surround Sound. HD. A room full of friends. Console gaming isn’t going anywhere, but console games aren’t as much fun as they could be.
That’s why we made OUYA: a new kind of game console, to bring groundbreaking games to the television in an entirely new way.


What I say: On the surface the Ouya seems like a good idea. Using its own version of the Android operating system, the Ouya claims to bring casual games to the big screen and make them more fun to boot. If that’s the case then why is it being ignored on an epic scale? Like I said on the surface it looks good. The price is right at $99, and all the games are free to try. That means not getting stuck with stinkers, right? Several indie and big time developers are on board (see game list here) so obviously the problem is with PR and marketing.

Before I go any further take a look at this…


Wow. I mean just wow. Who is this supposed to be geared at? Shut-ins? Those wacky gamers? Mutants? I’m just confused and horrified. Mostly horrified. But this…ad…is just horribly wrong and really kind of insulting. Because everyone knows that gamers are fat dudes in their drawls acting silly over games, am I right? But let’s be honest, in order to manage a cock up of this magnitude there have to be deeper issues here.

Lets look at how the system launched. It was funded on Kickstarter with backers promised a unit before release. Naturally that went horribly wrong. Some folks got theirs but a lot didn’t. Meanwhile units went to retail and Ouya sure didn’t have any problem shafting the people that helped make the system happen in order to get units on the shelves. Sure they offered “free games” to those affected but aren’t the games free anyways? Really it just seemled like too little too late.


Ouya was even dismissive to the gaming press. You know, the people who cover this stuff for the folks who would potentially buy it. Now some reviews popped up early but those came from backers (you know the ones lucky enough to get what they paid for). Other than the biggest gaming sites like IGN and big name sites like CNET there was not much coverage. Instead of making sure gamers were aware of the console Ouya engaged in moronic stunts like giving them away at the MTV Video Music Awards. You know to celebrities…celebrities who like expensive stuff. Can you imagine this scene…


Party at Ice T’s Crib!

Ice T

Ice T: Look here son I am playing Black Ops II on my diamond crusted Xbox 360!

ice cube

Ice Cube: Shit fool, I am playing Grand Theft Auto V on my PS made out of gold!

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus: Holla y’all I am playing my free Ouya!

ice cube laughing

Ice T and Ice Cube: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

miley crying

Yeah. You know it would go exactly like that. So instead of worrying about getting the word out to thrifty gamers, they wasted God knows how many units on folks that will throw them in their closets and forget about them or give them to homeless folks that don’t have electricity…or TVs. Stunts like this only show how little Ouya staff understand the market.


But the bad news keeps pouring in for Ouya. Like the fact that 73% of Ouya owners have never purchased a single game, not a one. But then again when you give them to people that don’t want them, it shouldn’t be the least bit shocking. If I was a developer for Ouya I would be pissed. It seems like its hard to turn a profit on a smaller game anyway, let alone if you are saddled with a such a poorly run ecosystem.


But the latest cock up is perhaps its most telling. Ouya started a “Free the Games” fund. If your game gets funded on Kickstarter Ouya will match funds in exchange for a window of exclusivity. Naturally things have gone horribly wrong. Since the rules were overly vague, people are being screwed out of their promised funds. Now rules are surely made to be followed but if the floor shifts as you go and with Kickstarter chiming in as well, its yet another bad scene.


Ouya CEO Julie Uhrman has “clarified” things and made a statement. Once again is it too little too late? Should ANY developer give these people the time of day? Should we? And how the hell does she still have a job?

Look who’s back, back again….

As I’m sure some of you have noticed there has not been much activity here at A Darker Image. We there have been some background issues we have had to deal with that seem to be over. All I’m going to say is that brute force hackers suck.


Some articles vanished during all this they will be restored over the next few days as I don’t want to dump them all back up all at once. I have a bunch of reviews stock piled and they will start running tomorrow. Thank you for your understanding.


Finally, I have decided to change things up around here a bit. I unfortunately have decided that I really don’t have time to devote to everything I originally took one. So in light of that I have decided to focus the site and only cover home video and video games. This means the comics will no longer be covered. I will leave the comic related comic book articles up, but there will not be any new ones. If you enjoyed the section I apologize.

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Also in the works is a new look for the site, but I’m not sure at this point when that will happen so please be on the look out for that.

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To everybody that enjoyed and supported the site so far, I thank you. I also appreciate those of you that have ordered from the Amazon links! Doing that really helps keep the site going.

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